The difficulty is, even if your partner demonstrates every single behaviour on a list of problems common to sexually abused men, it still does not necessarily mean he was sexually abused.
While it may seem as though there is a lot going on for him, there really is no way of knowing, from a person’s current behaviour, whether he has been sexually abused in the past.
Often there is a lot of worry around how to respond appropriately, and also worry about what this may mean for you as individuals, as a couple, or as a family. Not only do you want to support your loved one, you also need to deal with your own thoughts and feelings about it all.
We want to acknowledge that this can be challenging and confusing for partners, and that, regardless of the closeness of your relationship, this information can be difficult to process and respond to. Often a partner is the first person that a man will ever disclose a history of sexual abuse to. See the comments and questions asked on our page Information for partners of men, as an example. These are people who are deeply concerned about the men in their lives, and at a bit of a loss for how to best support them. Here at Living Well we receive a large number of questions and requests for advice from partners, family members and loved ones of men who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault. If your partner was sexually abused, you undoubtedly have many unanswered questions.